Picture Game

Are you guys up for a challenge? Below is a set of images. If you can get to the last image without laughing-you get a prize-a smug feeling you accomplished something today. Let the games begin!
Difficulty: Easy

Difficulty: Medium

Difficulty: Hard

Congratulations:If you reached here without laughing. you just won a smug feeling.

How to Kill flies with Mushrooms

Here at Happyhobo's blog, we pride in being a educational blog too. So today readers, i will teach you a way to kill flies with mushrooms! Killing flies by swatting may be fun (if your a psycho or my grandma) but it can be time consuming and leave dirty entrails all over the place. Here is a way to kill flies effortlessly.

Things You'll Need:
Amanita muscaria and milk.

Instructions:

Step 1

Find a special type of mushroom called Amanita muscaria. Don't know what it is? Ask your local drug dealer or child and they can probably tell you. Amanita muscaria is a mushroom that gives you hallucinogen reactions if consumed(DRUGS ARE BAD),it is also the mushrooms that smurfs live in on TV.

Step 2
You can find these mushrooms growing nearly anywhere fungi can survive. Wood areas and damp tall grass are good places to find them!

Step 3
Grab a mushroom and cut it up into pieces. The smaller the better. Best if in sprinkle size.

Step 4
Sprinkle into milk or any liquid that attracts flies(your poop will also suffice).

Step 5
Watch flies commit suicide and DUI!

Step 6
Sweep up dead bodies.

Note:

Wash the knife unless you want to start seeing smurfs in real life! Obviously don't drink the milk unless (see above warning). If you are a child reading this drugs are bad mmmkay?

This WORKS! What is does is once the fly consumes the mushroom; it enters delirium and starts flying all over the place. They will fly into walls or windows knocking themselves out. They can also "pass out". Funny but true. I wonder what flies hallucinate.......

Cockblocked by a Dog

Once again, life has proven that Happyhobo must remain virgin for the amusement of god.

So here i was, running up and down the hills for fitness and health (and partly because I'm crazy and have nothing to do....the things boredom does to you.); when this really pretty girl and her friend walks over and sit down to watch me run. Getting excited i made sure i flexed every muscle in my body to enhance my athletic physique including my eyeballs whilst trying to think up of a witty introduction and/or pickup line. It was an awfully windy day so my shirt was blowing up and down showing them my baby fat, but i was sure they were impressed, like in the movies when someone runs in slow motion and there is wind everywhere...

On my last lap, i prepare to man up and make conversation when out of the corner of my eye, i see this flash of white. I hear laboured breathing sounds, DEJAVU! "Roff roff rofff" screamed this freaking dogas it barked all over the place and tried to make advancements on my nuts. It ran in circles and started to slobber over my clothes. But then the most awful thing happened. I swear to god that the dog smiled at me when it made eye contact with me, then with the two girls. In my mind i screamed "nooooooooo" but it was too late. The target has been set. Its canine brain focused on one thing. COCK BLOCKAGE. I tried to distract it but the damn dog was unimpressed at my attempts at dog talk. It chased after the two girls and then the girls ran like crazy. That my friends, is the story of how one dog stopped one man from reaching one vagina.

So now you know why I'm still a virgin. From now on, every time i see a girl, i must make sure there are no dogs within my vicinity. You never know when they may strike but when they do........mans best friend my ass.

All about happyhobo 2

When Happyhobo was born, his father had a dream that one day, Happyhobo would become a super famous sports star. No one cares about happy hobos dreams so since the infant years, Happyhobo has been training excessively to become a sports star. The only problem was Happyhobo has absolutely no motor skills and couldn't crawl as a kid. You'd think that not being able to crawl was a hint that Happyhobo shouldn't play sports but reality does not apply to Happyhobo's father.

Once when Happyhobo was in high school he learnt a very valuable lesson which he shall share with you. The story involves a boy named Malvin who bullied a younger boy. Now the younger boy had an older cousin who was pretty well connected called Ibrahim. Ibrahim was angry that Malvin bullied his younger cousin so with a bunch of boys, Ibrahim found Malvin and told him to apologise. Malvin believing that he was in the right side and ignoring the fact he was outnumbered 30 to 1 refused. Ibrahim gave him one last chance to apologise but since Malvin refused the first time, Ibrahim told him to get on his knees this time and say sorry. Once again Malvin refused. Then with extreme velocity Ibrahim swung his arm around and punched Malvin in the face. Malvin lost some teeth and now looks somewhat like Happyhobo. So the moral of this story is: if you have a big ego, you better have a big dental plan. Congratulations, you just wasted 2 minutes of your life listening to a useless story.

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These last few years leading up to our current time, Happyhobo has been doing some travelling around the US where he has met some wonderful people and some not so wonderful people. These days, you will find Happyhobo not doing anything productive for humanity and talking in third person.

#happy hobo would like to thank his loyal readers(stalkers). Im also working on something new that will be unveiled soon!

All about happyhobo

Now its getting personnal so readers, today, i will reveal all about me! But wait, why so serious? its no fun if i just give you the facts. Instead, I'm going to riddle this post with riddles so stalkers will have to go to extra effort to find me.

Happyhobo was born on the same day as Rachel Bilson from the OC.(only famous person i could find.) Happyhobo's dad was a electric technician who later proceeded to sue a condom company-this however is not relevant here OK? Happyhobo's mother was a ninja who is very good at math. The result of a electrician and a ninja spawned a Happyhobo as noted in Einstein's theory of "how to generate a Happyhobo".

Happyhobo moved to a new country where there are lots of dangerous cute animals such as the cuddly koala that really have deadly sharp claws and kangaroos. Due to the cuteness of kangaroos, Happyhobo in his youth thought it would be fun to approach one and feed it. The result was being chased by a kangaroo and getting kicked by something of the same height.

Since the tender age, Happyhobo always showed signs of being "different." The use of the word different is a kind analogy, using a more descriptive word-"stupid" would be more relevant. Once during a game of hide and seek, the opponent hid behind Happyhobo and chanted "come find me."Being the intelligent person happy hobo is,Happyhobo began a fruitless quest in finding a person hidden behind him never once bothering to look back.

Happyhobo was also scared of water. Happyhobo's father tried to man Happyhobo up and told Happyhobo a story about how he had learnt swimming.-"Son, when i was your age, somebody kicked me into a lake and i learnt how to swim." To this, happy hobo relied"i don't think he was trying to teach you how to swim...." Despite years of swimming lessons, Happyhobo never learnt how to swim until one day at the beach. A fin protruded from the water and the theme music from Jaws started playing. Panic everywhere but that didn't affect Happyhobo, because for now, Happyhobo was swimming faster than Michael Phelps.

To be continued........

Halloween Special

Halloween is coming up! its time to dress up,stock up on candy and organise dental appointments. For pedophiles and serial killers, it means its time to refuel the van,stock up on candy and wear whatever your wearing now-happy trick and treating!

Ive only been through one American Halloween in my life and already, Ive noticed a scam in the making. First, you've got the adults trick and treating with infants in strollers, not only are they not dressed up-as if a baby is going to dig into rock hard candy when it hasn't even got teeth yet. So i wonder where all the candy goes, oh wait, obese mum, of course. pregnancy is over lady, what you eat ain't going to a baby no more. Next is the "outstanding costumes". Here is dialect i exchanged with a kid:

"hi, what are you meant to be?"

"im a playa, word"

"player? what do you play?"

"look brah, don't hate the playa, hate the game."

"alright alright, take the candy, here take my wallet too."

Oh yeah, i got tricked by a player no pun intended. Last but not least is the worst thing about Halloween-crappy candy. Aldi candy and No Frills is not real candy okay? Sure you save money by buying in bulk and able to sustain the whole night but giving diarrhoea and aids to children is not the spirit of Halloween!

Well, have a great Halloween and hope you have such a frightful night you shit yourself.

Realistic Sex Story Part Two

Maria could smell Anita's breath, as slowly, their plump lips pressed towards each other. Kissing like hardcore lesbians at a Mardi Gra party when suddenly Maria broke off the kiss. "Why you looking away?"Maria said angrily "when you kiss, you look people in the eye, am i that ugly?" "I have a medical condition remember?" came the awkward reply, "oh yeah sorry...." They resumed the kiss. By this time now, both of them were hot and passionate embracing each other. Maria began thrashing her tongue deep into Anita's mouth. *choke. Anita barfed all over the floor.

"WTF was that? that's not cool."Anita cried while cleaning the last drops of vomit from her mouth

Maria was confused, "i thought deep tongue kissing was erotic?"

"Well i have a shallow mouth, Jesus, that was like a snake or a reptile or something...."

"I'm sorry, look lets just get to the orgasm part okay?"

"Fine."

Both of them began undressing.

They looked at each other naked and the feeling of lust overcame them. Anita raced towards Maria and began grabbing any body part she could as she passionately kissed them. Maria bent down and looked at Anita's pubic region but, instead she discovered a rain forest. She could even hear frogs chirping.

"whoa, there is no way i am going anywhere near that thing unless Rambo accompanies me. Damn women you never heard of shaving?"

"Jeez, it was a long winter okay? fine, if you don't do it, ill do yours. I like rainbow flavoured skittles." Anita bent down and progressed slowly towards the rainbow when the fish market landed in the room.

"OMGAWSH! whats that smell? are you cooking fish for dinner?" Anita quipped

"wha..? oh yeah, I'm cooking fish...fish of course...fish."

"it shall smells like fish really bad, all this fish smell is making me hungry." Anita stood up and began sniffing the place in search of fish like a bear.

"Hungry, you not horny anymore? what about your ovaries?"

"its okay Maria I'm sure happy hobo is joking, besides, his not a real person hahaha."

The two had a wonderful lunch of fish and chips and by nighttime Anita was dressed and gone.

As Anita walked down the street, she ran into a homeless man. The homeless man looked up and smiled, he had teeth missing.

"Oh no!, oh no, I'm so-"

Witnesses, say what they'd seen was definitely paranormal. A homeless guy raised his fist and light shone from his hand, he then punched the victim in the stomach and two egg like sacs flew out of the victims body. Police are still looking for the perpetrator.

Realistic Sex Story

Does erotic literature turn you on? My story will make Viagra obsolete.

Maria, waited by the window. John's car still has not turned up. He has been late for the third time this month. Was work really that busy? They'd been married for 5 years next January yet lately, Maria couldn't help but notice the flagging love in their relationship.

Maria checked herself out in the mirror, she had nice breasts, not too big not too small. Except for a tiny few strands of hair on her left breast nipple, her breasts were porn star quality. Her pubic hair was carefully trimmed, Maria even dyed it rainbow coloured last week. Her huge tattoo on her right butt cheek which should read "if you can see this,your f^cked" but cellulite has taken over and it now read"you see this f^ck". Maria stroked her hair, and it began snowing. Looks like its time to take care of the dandruff Maria thought. A true goddess yet her man seems to think it was not enough. The sound of her husbands car approached the driveway. Sighing, Maria went to greet her husband.

The next day, Maria's best friend Anita Cocke came to visit. Now Anita has been single for as long as Maria can remember. Maria always tried to introduce Anita to new men but Anita's slightly lopsided eyes and a nose that would make Owen Wilson jealous was a hard sell for men. Chatting away, the conversation gradually turned to sex life.

"OMG I'm so horny, i haven't had sex in like forever!"-Maria exclaimed.

"lets have sex so the male audience reading this will get a boner and masturbate."-Anita said.

"what lesbian sex?, but I'm not gay!"-Maria was astounded, "we are also best friends!"

Anita sighed, "oh well, its come to this" with those words, Anita reached into her handbag and pulled out a dildo."JUST F$%^ING have sex with me or ill dildo slap you!!!......sorry, its just that happyhobo really pressured me into doing this and if i don't, he said he will falcon punch my ovaries. "

"Very well" said a resigned Maria, "lets do this to save your potentially ugly offspring."

Maria edged closer to Anita, their faces coming together..........

Continued in part two