Happy hobo's guide to the World- Afghanistan

Egypt is a beautiful Originally the world tour was meant to stop at Egypt but Egypt is full of sand, mummies and camel lovers(sexually?) so none of you would be interested in that right? Instead we skipped to a much more interesting country-Afghanistan!


Bombed back to the Middle Ages by America during World War 5. Afghanistan is home to that guy that wears Man Bikinis. What was his name? Borat that’s it! Very nice high five...you just read that in his voice. There is a war going on now so fashion in Afghanistan has changed over the years. Bullet proof vests act as formal casual wear while strapped on bombs are perfect for your birthday party!

There are no forms of communication in Afghanistan as the last phone tower just got deleted by a Air to Ground missile therefore Afghans rely on magic carpets to visit one another. Afghans also invented the 55 dollar hookah. Unfortunately there are no women on earth that would have sex with YOU for 55 dollars so they invented this tube to smoke shit out of with the same name so you can feel better about yourself.

Afghans look like a product of a ethnic gangbang. Asian, Russian,Indian and Martian bloodlines seem to have mixed with Afghan bloodline resulting in what all humans will probably look like in the future. On the subject of sexuality, since there is a surplus of weapons around, missle heads and rpgs are regularly used as sex toys.

There is a way to see Afghanistan for free! Air ticket, lodging and board all provided for! Join the ARMY!*

*terms and conditions apply, may lose limbs or life, no raincheck.

Next time on Happyhobo's guide to the world- Russia!

Happyhobo's guide to the world: China

Set to become the next world superpower, China was formed when a giant chicken got squashed by god's almighty fist. China domination of the world is becoming more and more evident as Chinese restaurants are sprouting up everywhere- the military strategy for world domination is simple; feed the world lots of Chinese food, get everyone fat; therefore easier to shoot!

Instead of condoms, China has a one child policy which means if your child is "retarded or really short", you may have another "retarded or really short child" of equal value. However, you may not have 2 children of average quality. All these rules are made by China's communist government; Communist China means that even while taking a sh*t, it better look like Mao Ze Dong or else your branded a traitor to the motherland!!!

Pirates of the Caribbean look like pansies when compared to Chinese pirates. In China, everything has been pirated including your genitals. That means somewhere on an Asian market, there is a replica of your genitals-exact copy with all the warts and stranded pubes, and there is an Asian lady yelling CHEAP CHEAP next to it.

All famous landmarks, people, places are named in a very simple and efficient manner. One just drops the ring of keys and a name is generated. National past times of China include doing math, farming gold on online video games, doing kung fu and catching flies with chopsticks(not a urban myth).

If you read this sentence and everything above is blank, it means the communist government has censored this article and your a fag. Next time in happy hobo’s guide to the world -Egypt!

Happyhobo's Guide to the World: United States Of America

Discovered by Columbians who were searching for some spicy Indian food after getting the munchies, they discovered the United States were full of Indians. These Indians built the Taj Mahal in what is now New York. Rich in culture and theology, the Indians in America now drive all the taxis or run 7/11 stores.

United States is famous for its fine cuisine. A typical American meal consists of lard fried in more lard dipped in fat and cholesterol topped off with some coronary blockage. Only in America can you order a large cheeseburger, fries and a DIET coke. Americans pride in keeping in shape and that is why road speed limits are set at low standards as cars are unable to travel any faster carrying American weight.

All Americans are delivered from the womb carrying 15 rounds of ammo and either a shotgun or a machine gun depending on how big their mother is. The first amendment states that all Americans must be able to shoot terrorists even when intoxicated or under the influence. That is the law and Americans love obeying the law.

America spawned the biggest movie industry in the world called Bollywood. America also spawned many big things like big food, big toilets, and sports for big people. American Football is the only sport where "big" people can excel excluding golf since golf isn’t a sport. Americans also like to drive big trucks and then complain about gas prices.

American education revolves around everything about them. That is why America shortened the name to just "US" as the world is just about America. All Americans have to care about learning is American knowledge; that’s it. Anything else is deemed terrorist propaganda.

Quick facts about America

1. In America, a pizza is delivered faster than an Ambulance call.

2. In America, there are more fat people than there are people.

3. Americans favourite show is Funniest Home Videos and that just consists of an hour of people getting their balls kicked or getting hurt. Quality entertainment!

4. 60% of Americans don't know the sun is a star.

5. 50% can't find America on the globe.

There you go. Currently a world superpower. Says a lot about humanity doesn't it. Next time in happyhobo's guide to the world: China!

Happyhobo's Guide to the World: Korea

Being an educational blog, Happyhobo will teach you about the countries that make up our world. The first country on the list is none other than Korea!

North Korea

North Korea is located north of South Korea. Its also home to Kim Jong IL who is known for his advertisements in hair products and also running the country though mainly for the hair. The Capital Pyongyang (means vagina in Korean) is a huge metropolis. North Korea opposes global warming so during night time, the good citizens of North Korea turn of their lights in an attempt to save penguins in Antarctica. Recently, North Korea have developed a nuclear bomb and sticky taped it to a missle thus the name taepodong (taped penis). North Korea has only one industry in its economy-the glorification of Kim jong il. 99.9% of the population is employed in this industry which involves building great statues of kim Jon Il and waving colourful flags. During World War 3, North Korea bombed a place called Pearl harbor causing the Australians to retaliate. Recently, North Korea agreed to abandon its nuclear program if America gives it candy.
South Korea

Unlike their brothers from North Korea, South Korea came into existence when the Berlin War was built thus seperating the two into different countries. South Korea is more modernised then North Korea. Its national sport is Starcraft and military strategies are developed according to Starcraft. Excellent military strategist from South korea are hired by countries all over the world. South Korea like America's own South is where all the hillbillies and rednecks are. These people are know as Samurais. Samurai's spend their days using swords to fight each other instead of guns and eating alot so they can get fat and wrestle each other. The national currency for South korea is Vespene Gas and Minerals. Contary to popular belief, kimchi is not a South Korean dish, rather its a Japanese dish. The real national dish of South Korea is kebabs.

The next logical step is to tell a fellow Korean you know all about their country! Coming up next time in Happyhobo's guide to the world: United States of America.