All about happyhobo

Now its getting personnal so readers, today, i will reveal all about me! But wait, why so serious? its no fun if i just give you the facts. Instead, I'm going to riddle this post with riddles so stalkers will have to go to extra effort to find me.

Happyhobo was born on the same day as Rachel Bilson from the OC.(only famous person i could find.) Happyhobo's dad was a electric technician who later proceeded to sue a condom company-this however is not relevant here OK? Happyhobo's mother was a ninja who is very good at math. The result of a electrician and a ninja spawned a Happyhobo as noted in Einstein's theory of "how to generate a Happyhobo".

Happyhobo moved to a new country where there are lots of dangerous cute animals such as the cuddly koala that really have deadly sharp claws and kangaroos. Due to the cuteness of kangaroos, Happyhobo in his youth thought it would be fun to approach one and feed it. The result was being chased by a kangaroo and getting kicked by something of the same height.

Since the tender age, Happyhobo always showed signs of being "different." The use of the word different is a kind analogy, using a more descriptive word-"stupid" would be more relevant. Once during a game of hide and seek, the opponent hid behind Happyhobo and chanted "come find me."Being the intelligent person happy hobo is,Happyhobo began a fruitless quest in finding a person hidden behind him never once bothering to look back.

Happyhobo was also scared of water. Happyhobo's father tried to man Happyhobo up and told Happyhobo a story about how he had learnt swimming.-"Son, when i was your age, somebody kicked me into a lake and i learnt how to swim." To this, happy hobo relied"i don't think he was trying to teach you how to swim...." Despite years of swimming lessons, Happyhobo never learnt how to swim until one day at the beach. A fin protruded from the water and the theme music from Jaws started playing. Panic everywhere but that didn't affect Happyhobo, because for now, Happyhobo was swimming faster than Michael Phelps.

To be continued........

Halloween Special

Halloween is coming up! its time to dress up,stock up on candy and organise dental appointments. For pedophiles and serial killers, it means its time to refuel the van,stock up on candy and wear whatever your wearing now-happy trick and treating!

Ive only been through one American Halloween in my life and already, Ive noticed a scam in the making. First, you've got the adults trick and treating with infants in strollers, not only are they not dressed up-as if a baby is going to dig into rock hard candy when it hasn't even got teeth yet. So i wonder where all the candy goes, oh wait, obese mum, of course. pregnancy is over lady, what you eat ain't going to a baby no more. Next is the "outstanding costumes". Here is dialect i exchanged with a kid:

"hi, what are you meant to be?"

"im a playa, word"

"player? what do you play?"

"look brah, don't hate the playa, hate the game."

"alright alright, take the candy, here take my wallet too."

Oh yeah, i got tricked by a player no pun intended. Last but not least is the worst thing about Halloween-crappy candy. Aldi candy and No Frills is not real candy okay? Sure you save money by buying in bulk and able to sustain the whole night but giving diarrhoea and aids to children is not the spirit of Halloween!

Well, have a great Halloween and hope you have such a frightful night you shit yourself.

Realistic Sex Story Part Two

Maria could smell Anita's breath, as slowly, their plump lips pressed towards each other. Kissing like hardcore lesbians at a Mardi Gra party when suddenly Maria broke off the kiss. "Why you looking away?"Maria said angrily "when you kiss, you look people in the eye, am i that ugly?" "I have a medical condition remember?" came the awkward reply, "oh yeah sorry...." They resumed the kiss. By this time now, both of them were hot and passionate embracing each other. Maria began thrashing her tongue deep into Anita's mouth. *choke. Anita barfed all over the floor.

"WTF was that? that's not cool."Anita cried while cleaning the last drops of vomit from her mouth

Maria was confused, "i thought deep tongue kissing was erotic?"

"Well i have a shallow mouth, Jesus, that was like a snake or a reptile or something...."

"I'm sorry, look lets just get to the orgasm part okay?"

"Fine."

Both of them began undressing.

They looked at each other naked and the feeling of lust overcame them. Anita raced towards Maria and began grabbing any body part she could as she passionately kissed them. Maria bent down and looked at Anita's pubic region but, instead she discovered a rain forest. She could even hear frogs chirping.

"whoa, there is no way i am going anywhere near that thing unless Rambo accompanies me. Damn women you never heard of shaving?"

"Jeez, it was a long winter okay? fine, if you don't do it, ill do yours. I like rainbow flavoured skittles." Anita bent down and progressed slowly towards the rainbow when the fish market landed in the room.

"OMGAWSH! whats that smell? are you cooking fish for dinner?" Anita quipped

"wha..? oh yeah, I'm cooking fish...fish of course...fish."

"it shall smells like fish really bad, all this fish smell is making me hungry." Anita stood up and began sniffing the place in search of fish like a bear.

"Hungry, you not horny anymore? what about your ovaries?"

"its okay Maria I'm sure happy hobo is joking, besides, his not a real person hahaha."

The two had a wonderful lunch of fish and chips and by nighttime Anita was dressed and gone.

As Anita walked down the street, she ran into a homeless man. The homeless man looked up and smiled, he had teeth missing.

"Oh no!, oh no, I'm so-"

Witnesses, say what they'd seen was definitely paranormal. A homeless guy raised his fist and light shone from his hand, he then punched the victim in the stomach and two egg like sacs flew out of the victims body. Police are still looking for the perpetrator.

Realistic Sex Story

Does erotic literature turn you on? My story will make Viagra obsolete.

Maria, waited by the window. John's car still has not turned up. He has been late for the third time this month. Was work really that busy? They'd been married for 5 years next January yet lately, Maria couldn't help but notice the flagging love in their relationship.

Maria checked herself out in the mirror, she had nice breasts, not too big not too small. Except for a tiny few strands of hair on her left breast nipple, her breasts were porn star quality. Her pubic hair was carefully trimmed, Maria even dyed it rainbow coloured last week. Her huge tattoo on her right butt cheek which should read "if you can see this,your f^cked" but cellulite has taken over and it now read"you see this f^ck". Maria stroked her hair, and it began snowing. Looks like its time to take care of the dandruff Maria thought. A true goddess yet her man seems to think it was not enough. The sound of her husbands car approached the driveway. Sighing, Maria went to greet her husband.

The next day, Maria's best friend Anita Cocke came to visit. Now Anita has been single for as long as Maria can remember. Maria always tried to introduce Anita to new men but Anita's slightly lopsided eyes and a nose that would make Owen Wilson jealous was a hard sell for men. Chatting away, the conversation gradually turned to sex life.

"OMG I'm so horny, i haven't had sex in like forever!"-Maria exclaimed.

"lets have sex so the male audience reading this will get a boner and masturbate."-Anita said.

"what lesbian sex?, but I'm not gay!"-Maria was astounded, "we are also best friends!"

Anita sighed, "oh well, its come to this" with those words, Anita reached into her handbag and pulled out a dildo."JUST F$%^ING have sex with me or ill dildo slap you!!!......sorry, its just that happyhobo really pressured me into doing this and if i don't, he said he will falcon punch my ovaries. "

"Very well" said a resigned Maria, "lets do this to save your potentially ugly offspring."

Maria edged closer to Anita, their faces coming together..........

Continued in part two