United States is famous for its fine cuisine. A typical American meal consists of lard fried in more lard dipped in fat and cholesterol topped off with some coronary blockage. Only in America can you order a large cheeseburger, fries and a DIET coke. Americans pride in keeping in shape and that is why road speed limits are set at low standards as cars are unable to travel any faster carrying American weight.
All Americans are delivered from the womb carrying 15 rounds of ammo and either a shotgun or a machine gun depending on how big their mother is. The first amendment states that all Americans must be able to shoot terrorists even when intoxicated or under the influence. That is the law and Americans love obeying the law.
America spawned the biggest movie industry in the world called Bollywood. America also spawned many big things like big food, big toilets, and sports for big people. American Football is the only sport where "big" people can excel excluding golf since golf isn’t a sport. Americans also like to drive big trucks and then complain about gas prices.
American education revolves around everything about them. That is why America shortened the name to just "US" as the world is just about America. All Americans have to care about learning is American knowledge; that’s it. Anything else is deemed terrorist propaganda.
Quick facts about America
1. In America, a pizza is delivered faster than an Ambulance call.
2. In America, there are more fat people than there are people.
3. Americans favourite show is Funniest Home Videos and that just consists of an hour of people getting their balls kicked or getting hurt. Quality entertainment!
4. 60% of Americans don't know the sun is a star.
5. 50% can't find America on the globe.
There you go. Currently a world superpower. Says a lot about humanity doesn't it. Next time in happyhobo's guide to the world: China!
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