I can't believe this, my blog has become the latest battlefield for good and evil. As i was surfing porn yesterday, a huge pop-up came onto my screen and yep, you probably didn't guess it but it was Satan. Well to be more precise, it was Satan's lawyers, they allege that the post i made about gods letter to me was defamatory to Satan's image and requested i post this letter or else expect legal action and/or demon procession. So i guess i have no choice, here is the letter.
Dear foolish mortals and happyhobo,
Since the "almighty" is going all technological on my a$$, i feel outraged at the way he described me and feel that i have been portrayed in a very negative fashion. Let me introduce myself, I am known by many names, Satan, Lucifer,Devil,Beelzebub, but you can just call me Joe. I was raised in god's pristine heaven until i realised he was being selfish and not letting me be my potential, i mean i was the hottest angel there. Any other angels, if they sat next to me, it is like comparing a before and after picture. So i ran away from home, well more of kicked out but that's not the point. Anyways here i am walking around on this place called earth and see this really really fricking sweet garden so i turn into a snake and settled down to enjoy life. God saw that i was enjoying life and he was pissed so he made some humans to come f^*%$ things up for me. Anyways i plant some really nice trees (I'm really into gardening), there is this one tree called the tree of knowledge that i really liked, it produced both fruit and made you smarter. I see these two monkey walking around, really really stupid things you could tell, i mean, they weren't even wearing clothes and the guy was getting shrinkage so feeling sorry for them, i told the women to eat some fruit to boost that IQ a bit. Anyways they got smarter and found out that they were naked, god got pissed cause now he cant see naked genitals, man that god guy seriously needs to attend anger management classes, he is pissed off about everything. So he banishes them and i kinda feel its my fault so feeling sorry for them i decide from now on, ill help them enjoy life abit.
Anyways, feel free to drop me a message anytime, all you have to do piss off god like checking out your girlfriends sister's tits or lying about those magazines, that's right, i know everything myhahahahahahahaha *cough excuse me, mwhahahahhhahahah!!!
*Come join me for a eternity of burning and pain! This Saturday ! RVSP on facebook please.
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