Creative ways to die

Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die. So when the time does come-how do you want to go? Here are some interesting deaths that has happened and can happen?

1.Dieing by sex-very manly way to go. Suffer heart-attack whatever. Having sex automatically puts you above 99 percent of the Internet population who aren't even getting any.

2. Die laughing- Made possible by some guy who couldn't stop laughing at a TV show. Proves TV does kill braincells and even lives.

3. Die by time machine. That's right, go back and have sex with your mother. TIME CONTINUUM PARADOX. What a way to go.

4. Crushed to death by war elephant. How many people can proclaim that at a funeral? Not a elephant- a mother f%$cking war elephant.

5. Getting hit by a space object. It could be a meteor, alien ship,space junk or even nasa sattelites.... Walking down the street and is that a plane?is that superman? no its a meteor coming straight for me. WOW sooo shiny, im just going to stand here and watch the shiny light *dribbles saliva.

6. Die by ownage. Dress like a terrorist then find the most redneck bar in America and shout die infidels. Then wait for sweet heaven.

7.Die by hunting. You can either hang out with Dick Cheney or dress like a animal and run around the woods during hunting season.

8.Die by collision with the moon. I mean, once you reach a certain weight, theoretically, you will get your gravitational pull. So eat junk food for 1000 years to reach epic proportions. Then wait as the moon crashes into you.

9. Last but not least die by the cross. That's right. Die on a cross then come back. (that makes Jesus a zombie!!!) The most epic way to die.

Well, don't try these at home boys and girls. Wait, the disclaimer goes at the start?