Walking down the mall today, i see a "?". Well this "?" is hard to describe but upon closer inspection, i discovered the "?" was a guy dressed in women makeup /or a really guy looking girl. Anyways, the "?" got the wrong vibe and thought i was checking the "?" out. So the "?" gave me a "oh bitch you checking me out look?" and proceeded to respond to my frightfully misdirected stare. I'm sure this has happened to you before so Ive compiled a guide to ease the confusion of the mating process helping to avoid awkward encounters and possible man on man action.
For girls:
Make eye contact. Smile, not in a dopey high way unless your target is a hippy but in a "I'm nice girl so now do me kind of way". Man should get signal to approach you. If the guy is shy, beckon him forward with your finger. No man can resist the finger of temptation. If looking for casual sex. Keep on using the finger. Or just spread legs and say vacant space needs filling, Smalls penor need not apply. If its for love, make conversation. During the conversation, make sure you are showing off your best anatomy. Such can be done by folding your arms and pushing up your breasts or bend forward slightly to a 45 degree angle. If going nowhere. Repeat following phrase:
"Girls with asses like mine don't go out with guys with faces like yours."
For guys:
Make gorilla noises and pound your chest. Loudest sound gets the hot chick. Skip making conversation and all that jibber jabber. If girl begins talking, pull out penis and stick into mouth. WARNING: NOT your own mouth. Sometimes, you may face competition. This can be solved by showing your masculinity and dominating all males. In some animal species, the dominant male rapes the weaker male as a show of strength. Same applies here. If going nowhere. Then provoke women to slap you so you can pound her face and say it was self defense. Just kidding-women beating is for cowards but then its what feminists want right? Women are equal remember.
NOW go forth and multiply......or divide......or ask a math teacher to help you out.
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