I hate working period. Especially working for (insert profanity) bosses who treat you like a slave. Anyways, over the short two years of my work life, i have become the ultimate bosses nightmare! Today, i will share the secrets that made me the professional sleeper that i am today.
1. Drink lots and lots of fluids, thanks to humanitarian rights, the boss cannot stop you from going to the toilet and going to toilet = 5 Minute break.
2. If you work in a team, don't do all the work, only contribute when it is required (when the boss is monitoring you). However you must appear to be making progress and working the hardest. This can be achieved by finding a fellow workmate to leech off. Remember, self preservation is most important.
3. Sleeping on the job is the hardest to achieve, however if you are able to master the following technique, you will be in dreamland and getting paid for it! Hand over forehead method-put your hand over your forehead to appear to be thinking hard and one of your elbows on the desk, by doing so, you look like you are working hard too! This technique requires skills as once asleep you must maintain the form.
4. If your a non-smoker, enjoy company time that allows smoker to smoke outside by rolling up your own fake white cigarette. Go outside and enjoy fresh air!
Hope my tips have helped you achieve your dream promotion while looking young and non-stressed.
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